Eliminating the Possibilities

The last time I wrote an entry on this blog was three months ago, when I was close to the end of my thirty-day cleanse--I did make it to my goal, but as soon as I finished, the summer quickly got the best of me. Several work functions, family trips, and other seasonal events brought lots of treats and indulgences--and, perhaps coincidentally or not, I had a terrible eczema flare-up right around the Fourth of July, which progressively got worse as the summer wore on.

Ever since delivering my daughter more than two years ago, I have battled with on-and-off eczema on my hands--it has come and gone at seemingly random times, but has been a fairly steady presence in my life, and I have been unable to pin down exactly what might be causing it. This latest flare-up was an especially bad and prolonged one--and when my skin got so raw in August that I could barely function, I made an appointment with my dermatologist, who prescribed me a steroid cream to control the current breakout and ordered a patch test to determine whether my condition was being triggered by some sort of substance with which I was coming into contact. My doctor suggested that perhaps I was allergic to a chemical used in baby wipes--which made sense, considering that this was a condition I developed only after my daughter came into the world, and it was limited mainly to my hands.

And, lo and behold, the patch test revealed that I did indeed register a mild reaction to isothiazolinone, a chemical compound used in many household, personal care, and beauty products--including the brand of baby wipes we had been using for some time, as well as the "gentle" and "natural" hand soap in our dispensers throughout the house. I also found several other products with the offending ingredient in my mix of toiletries, so I did a clean sweep of our home, replacing our hand and dish soap with diluted, unscented castile soap, and swapping our current set of baby wipes with a new brand that didn't include any variant of isothiazolinone. My husband even threw out his shampoo, conditioner, and hair gel without hesitation when he learned that they also included the trigger chemical.

For a week or two thereafter, my skin began to quickly heal, and my itching subsided. I wondered why I hadn't scheduled this patch test sooner, and I was relieved to have finally found an answer to this previously unsolved mystery . . . until my hands broke out again, about a week ago, along with the fronts of my elbows, my chests, and my underarms. The blisters and itching were as bad as ever--and with the problem more widespread than before, I began having trouble sleeping, waking up scratching myself multiple times in the middle of the night, never feeling like I could rest quite fully. Taking an over-the-counter allergy medication before bed has helped a little bit, but it makes me feel extra groggy in the morning. Clearly, avoiding isothiazolinone was not the miracle answer I had been hoping for.

So, I did a bit of research, and, apparently, there is some evidence that eczema can be triggered by food allergies or sensitivities--often by dairy, eggs, or wheat--and my nagging suspicion that my woes are in part a reaction to something I'm ingesting came strongly to the surface. In addition to my skin problems, I've been feeling especially groggy, foggy-headed, and exhausted for the past week (partly because of my inability to sleep through the night)--but, if I'm being honest, I have generally felt this way for quite some time now. I've brushed off these things as the consequence of balancing new motherhood with a demanding and often stressful workload (not to mention the demands of [barely] keeping up with household chores)--but my reading has revealed that these symptoms also can be linked to food sensitivities. So, perhaps there is more at work here than deadlines and an active, needy toddler.

After a great deal of thought over the past few days, I've decided to put my suspicions to the test by undertaking a strict elimination diet to determine whether I truly have developed some sort of food sensitivity or allergy. Starting tomorrow, I will avoid a certain set of foods for four weeks, to see whether cleaning out my diet relieves the symptoms I'm currently experiencing. If that is the case, I will then reintroduce each food, one at a time, to observe whether it causes any sort of reaction on my skin or within my body.

I am a bit nervous and sad about having reached this point, where I feel compelled to take such drastic measures--but I am also determined to find out what is wrong with me, and hopeful that this exercise will reveal something once and for all that can shed light on how I can avoid what I've had to endure for more than two years now.

At the very least, I know that eating clean will help direct me onto a healthier path, which is something that is also tremendously needed in my life. As of today, I am at the heaviest I've ever been, having gained a substantial amount of weight during my pregnancy--and then putting on an additional ten pounds since giving birth. In addition to all the obvious self-image issues that come with carrying so much extra weight, I have to admit that it is becoming increasingly difficult to have my daughter sit on my lap--something which causes me great shame, disappointment, and sadness. I am in desperate need of a change. I know that this elimination diet will not be easy, but I am firmly committed to seeing myself through it, no matter what temptations (or holidays) crop up in the months ahead. Nothing is more important than becoming healthier for my daughter's sake, for my husband's sake, for my family and friends' sake, and for my own sake. I am determined to stick to my plan and put my health first--if I can get through this, there will be lots of time for splurges later. The present is now all about recapturing my health and vitality.

My goal is to use this blog to chronicle my journey--and to capture the physical, emotional, and spiritual changes I might undergo as I move forward. I am not sure what might lie in store for me, but I am eager to discover what the future holds. Tonight I go to bed with a bloated belly and a weary spirit--but with an ever-hopeful faith that I will find healing and perhaps also rediscover myself at some point along the way. Tomorrow is a new day, in many ways.

Note: The following is a list of the foods I will be consuming and avoiding for the next four weeks.

	Foods to include	Foods to exclude
Fruits	Almost all fresh fruit	Bananas Citrus fruits (e.g., grapefruit, lemon, lime, orange) Grapes Kiwi Strawberries
Vegetables	Almost all raw, steamed, sautéed, or roasted vegetables	Eggplant Okra Peppers of all kinds (except black pepper) Potatoes (except sweet potatoes and yams) Tomatillos Tomatoes
Starch	Buckwheat Rice	Barley Corn Gluten-containing products Kamut Oats Rye Spelt Wheat
Legumes	None	Beans Lentils Peas Soybeans Soy milk Tempeh Tofu
Nuts and seeds	None	All nuts All seeds Nut milks (e.g., almond milk)
Animal proteins	Fish (except shellfish or raw fish) Lamb Turkey Wild game	Bacon Beef Canned meat Chicken Cold cuts Eggs Hot dogs Meat substitutes made from soy Pork Raw fish Sausage Shellfish
Dairy products	Unsweetened coconut milk Unsweetened rice milk	Butter Cheese Cottage cheese Cream Ice cream Milk Nondairy creamers Sour cream Yogurt
Fats	Olive oil (extra virgin) Coconut oil (cold-pressed, extra virgin, unrefined)	Butter Cooking spray Margarine Mayonnaise Processed and hydrogenated oils Spreads
Beverages	Herbal teas Water	Alcohol Caffeine (black tea, coffee, green tea, soda)
Spices, condiments, and baking products	Black pepper Herbs and spices (e.g., cumin, dill, garlic, ginger, oregano, parsley, rosemary, thyme, turmeric) Kosher salt	Barbecue sauce Cayenne pepper and other dried peppers (except black pepper) Chocolate Chutney Cornstarch Ketchup Mustard Paprika Relish Soy sauce Vinegar
Sweeteners	None	Brown sugar Corn syrup High fructose corn syrup Honey Maple syrup White sugar

Meat(less)-ing in the Middle

I've been doing my summer cleanse for three weeks now, and I've already lost eight pounds, which has me feeling inspired, encouraged, and motivated, and even has me considering extending my cleanse beyond the thirty days I had originally planned to do. I've discovered the simple pleasures of having a bowl of berries or a banana with some almond butter for dessert, finding a green tea that has so many layers of flavor to it that I really do wonder if I'll ever need to drink coffee again, and eating out with my family and finding fairly healthy options that seem like a splurge but don't leave me bloated and regretful. It has been a wonderful, eye-opening experience.

But at the same time, I've also found myself in a bit of a food rut, as I've eaten the same sorts of foods over and over again for the most part (smoothies, salads, toast with avocado, handfuls of nuts), and I have been getting a little bored with the monotony. I've also been a bit discouraged by the fact that my meat-loving husband and I have been eating completely separate meals--it's not that we always have to eat the same thing, but when our diets have become so disparate, it has become difficult to think of things I could make that would satisfy him, too...and save him from a trip through the drive-thru because there's nothing in our kitchen that he wants. Unless I'm conscientiously directing the meals in a healthy direction in our house, they tend toward the fast, cheap, and greasy, unfortunately.

A few days ago, it suddenly hit me that I am essentially (albeit not entirely purely) eating a vegan diet, and I know that there are a ton of vegan blogs and cookbooks out there, so I decided to search for some recipes that would leave me feeling like I had more than just a few options to choose from while eating at home. I found two recipes--for a pasta dish and a soup--that were easy to make and simply spectacular! My husband has been raving about both, and he has even insisted that I make the garlic and oil pasta from now on in place of the marinara standard he usually asks for. I am so happy to have reached a place where I feel like I can get him on board with eating this way at least part of the time, and where I can make some things that we can both enjoy together. I am on the hunt for more recipes that will please both of our palates--but for now I can rest assured knowing that I have a tasty and healthy pasta dish I can easily whip up on any given weeknight, without much effort.

Here are the recipes, as I've adapted them from the originals. For the pasta, I added broccoli, used crushed garlic (the kind that comes pre-mashed in a jar), used dried parsley in place of fresh, and simply whisked together the sauce instead of taking the extra time (and the extra pan) to cook it--the perfect solution for this busy working mom at the end of a long day. For the soup, I added garlic (I can't cook a soup without it!), used dried herbs in place of fresh ones, replaced some of the thyme with oregano, and left the potato skins on--again, to simplify things a bit and make it easier to throw the soup together with a toddler underfoot. I plan to come back to both of these recipes often (and I'm sure my husband won't mind one bit)!

Easy Pasta Aglio Et Olio with Broccoli

Ingredients

Kosher salt, to taste, plus 1 teaspoon
1 pound whole wheat pasta
1 pound frozen broccoli florets
3 heaping teaspoons crushed garlic
1/2 cup extra-virgin olive oil
A few shakes red pepper flakes
2 heaping teaspoons dried parsley
1/2 lemon, zested

Instructions

Bring a large pot of cold water to a boil over high heat, then salt it generously. Add the pasta and cook, stirring occasionally, until al dente (about 8 minutes). In a separate pot, cook the broccoli according to the package directions, until al dente.

While the pasta and broccoli cook, combine the garlic, olive oil, red pepper flakes, parsley, lemon zest, and 1 teaspoon salt in a bowl or large measuring cup and whisk together until well blended.

When the pasta is done cooking, reserve 1/4 cup of the cooking water, then drain the pasta. Add the reserved water to the oil mixture and whisk again until well combined. Put the drained pasta and broccoli back into the pasta pot, then pour the oil mixture over the top and toss gently until well distributed. Add more salt and red pepper flakes as needed to taste.

Yields 4 to 6 servings.

Note: Recipe adapted from "Spaghetti with Oil and Garlic (Aglio Et Olio)," from Food Network Kitchens (http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/food-network-kitchens/spaghetti-with-oil-and-garlic-aglio-et-olio-recipe/index.html).
 

 A delightful and colorful alternative to our old standby pasta.

 

Easy, Creamy Asparagus Potato Soup

Ingredients

4 tablespoons olive oil, plus more for serving
2 large onions, diced
2 large leeks, rinsed thoroughly and sliced (white and light green parts only)
2 pounds asparagus, with ends snapped, and cut into 1-inch pieces
2 pounds baby potatoes, cut into quarters
8 cups vegetable broth
3 teaspoons crushed garlic
2 teaspoons kosher salt
1 teaspoon dried thyme
2 teaspoons dried oregano
3 teaspoons dried marjoram
2 teaspoons crushed red pepper flakes, plus more for serving
Bunch of fresh chives, sliced

Instructions

In a large soup pot, heat the olive oil over medium heat. Add the onions and leeks, and cook until they are soft and translucent, about 8 to 10 minutes. Add the asparagus and potatoes, and cook another 8 to 10 minutes, covered. Add the broth, garlic, herbs, and crushed red pepper. Bring to a boil, then simmer until the potatoes and asparagus are soft and easily pierced with a fork.

Carefully use an immersion blender to puree the soup until it is smooth, and no large chunks remain. Season with salt and freshly ground black pepper as needed to taste. Top each individual serving with a dash of red pepper flakes, a sprinkle of freshly chopped chives, and a drizzle of olive oil.

Yields 12 servings.

Notes: Recipe adapted from "Creamy Asparagus, Potato and Leek Soup (Vegan)," from Tasty Yummies (http://tasty-yummies.com/2011/05/18/creamy-asparagus-potato-and-leek-soup-vegan/). I doubled the original recipe, so this makes a huge pot of soup with plenty of leftovers to spare--if you want a smaller batch, just cut everything in half.

The toppings really do complete the soup.

Sweet 'n' Smoky Three-Bean Chili

I knew from the start that giving up dairy would be the most difficult part of my summer cleanse. I love all things dairy--cheese, cottage cheese, yogurt, sour cream, ice cream, and plain old milk. When I was debating what exactly to cut out of my diet, I went back and forth over dairy, as I've heard and read conflicting theories about whether it's good for you. But, in the end, I recognized that it made up a significant part of my diet (especially so when avoiding meat), and my gut told me that a large amount of it couldn't be good for me.

So, I put it on my list of things to purge for the month. The first few days of my cleanse saw intense cravings for cheese, especially because before I decided to do the cleanse, I bought two huge blocks of mozzarella and sharp cheddar from Costco that have been staring at me every time I open the fridge. But I have resisted the urge to forget that part of my cleanse and have stayed strong, and I was surprised to find myself not tempted by that delectably pungent cheese today, when I had leftovers of a chili I made last weekend for lunch.

This chili is absolutely delicious on its own, but old habits die hard, and my pre-cleanse self told me that it just screamed for shredded cheese and a dollop of sour cream to be mixed in. When I first made the chili, I indulged that urge by whipping up a batch of vegan sour cream (made from cashews, vinegar, and lemon juice--actually quite tasty). But after a few days, the vegan cream was gone, and I was left to eat the chili plain and unadorned. (Yes, I could have made more, but these have been busy days--hence the intent on making a huge pot of chili that I could eat all week long.)

Although the chili is wonderful by itself, I still found myself missing the dairy, until today, when I took a bite and fully tasted all the rich flavors in the mix--smoky chipotle, sweet corn, savory onion, creamy beans--and thought, "This doesn't need anything added at all!"

I was pleasantly surprised to observe myself getting to this point, where the simple flavors of healthy, whole foods seem suddenly indulgent--and the fact that my clothes are already fitting a little looser helps me feel even better about skipping the cheese. Today I'm feeling good and confident that I can stick with this through the end of the month.

Here is the recipe I used for the chili, which I adapted from the original by increasing the amount of veggies slightly, replacing the brown sugar with honey, and adding chipotles in adobo, roasted corn, and vegetable broth. I probably used too many chipotles for some people's taste, but I love them, and I like my chili to make me sweat! But they could easily be reduced or eliminated altogether for people who aren't quite as fond of the heat.

¡Salud!

 

Sweet 'n' Smoky Three-Bean Chili

Ingredients

1 tablespoon canola oil
1 medium onion (diced)
1 yellow bell pepper (diced)
1 green bell pepper (diced)
2 tbsp. garlic (minced)
2 cups corn (roasted on the grill and sliced off the cob, for extra flavor)
1 tablespoon honey
1 1/2 tablespoons chipotles in adobo (chopped)
1 1/2 tablespoons chili powder
1 teaspoon ground cumin
1 teaspoon dried oregano
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
2 (16-ounce) cans diced tomatoes (undrained)
2 (15-ounce) cans black beans (rinsed and drained)
1 (15-ounce) can kidney beans (rinsed and drained)
1 (15-ounce) can cannellini beans (rinsed and drained)
1 to 2 cups vegetable broth

Instructions

Heat the oil in a large saucepan over medium-high heat. Add the onion and sauté 5 to 10 minutes, or until translucent. Add the bell peppers and garlic; sauté 5 to 10 minutes longer, or until tender. Add the remaining ingredients, using as much broth as needed to reach the desired consistency, and bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer, covered, for at least 30 minutes.

Yields 8 servings.

Note: Recipe adapted from "Hearty Vegetarian Chili with Polenta Cakes," from The Comfort of Cooking (http://www.thecomfortofcooking.com/2011/02/hearty-vegetarian-chili-with-polenta-cakes.html).

Tastes Grape! Smoothie

Before I started my summer cleanse, I had been making green smoothies fairly regularly for breakfast--and I think I've succeeded in making this a habit, because I've had one almost every day for a few weeks running now. I love how easy and fresh they are--even if a morning gets off to a rough start, I can take solace in the fact that I've nourished my body with a clean and nutrient-filled meal.

This morning I woke up feeling sluggish and grumpy because of yet another late night working on a freelance project (I've got to start pacing myself better to avoid needing marathon editing sessions to make a deadline--but that's a story for a different post). But I dragged my bleary-eyed self through my normal motions, and after a shower and a deliciously improvised smoothie, I was feeling rejuvenated and inspired--my creation was so tasty that even my suddenly quite picky two-year-old told me, "That's good!"

I didn't measure my ingredients, but here is an approximation of what I did--I will definitely be using this tasty blend of fruits and veggies again!

Tastes Grape! Smoothie

Ingredients:

2 cups dark greens (spinach and/or kale)
1 cup almond milk (unsweetened)
A splash of vanilla extract
A few shakes of ground cinnamon
1 cup carrots (chopped roughly)
1 pear (cored and cut into large chunks, with the skin left on)
1 cup grapes (frozen)
1/2 cup blueberries
1 to 3 tablespoons hemp seeds (optional)

Instructions:

Blend the greens, almond milk, vanilla, and cinnamon until well combined. Add the rest of the ingredients and blend until everything is smooth, with no large chunks remaining. If the texture is too thick for your liking, add a bit more almond milk and blend some more. Top with hemp seeds, if desired, and enjoy!

Yields 2 servings.

My smoothie, with its two secret ingredients: vanilla and cinnamon.
They give it just the kick needed to make the blend decadent.

A Simple Start

The past few years have brought many changes for me--a new child, a new job, a new home--and, in the midst of it all, I have never felt settled. I've always been one to overthink, to overanalyze, to overplan, only to inevitably feel disappointed when things don't turn out as I've envisioned.

So, I've decided to take a step back and assess my life--and determine how I might simplify things to bring better balance to my world. I feel constantly distracted, regularly overwhelmed, and relaxed not often enough. I have made some adjustments in recent months to become more grounded and present in my daily life, but they have not brought me fully to the place I want to be.

In the past, when setting a goal for myself, I would have carefully crafted a plan, charting out all the steps along the way I needed to travel to get to my end destination--but as I embark on this new journey, I am ready to release control and take things one step at a time, and see where this steady but unassuming effort leads me.

I have chosen to focus first on one thing that undoubtedly affects all other areas of my life: my health. As the calendar has turned toward June, I have started what I'm calling my "summer cleanse," to prepare myself for a change in season, literally and figuratively. This is not a diet but instead a conscious effort to be aware of what I'm putting into my body, and to reset my system for a cleaner, lighter lifestyle.

There are many approaches I could have taken with this cleanse, but I've decided to start simply for now, by eating whole foods whenever possible, and eliminating the following:

• Coffee (for now, replaced with tea, a milder stimulant that I am not tempted to load up with sugar and heavy cream)
• Alcohol (which I do not indulge in very often anymore but still find makes me feel bloated and sluggish when I do choose to imbibe)
• Refined grains (I will continue to eat whole ones, however, with as few added ingredients as possible)
• Refined sugar (which I realize might continue to be in some products I consume--my goal for the time being is to avoid sugar in excess, and specifically items with sugar as a top ingredient)
• Meat, poultry, and seafood (this just feels right for me at this time in my life, for various reasons--whether this becomes a permanent choice remains to be seen)
• Dairy (this will be the hardest of all to give up, I suspect--yes, for me, even harder than coffee--but I am curious to observe whether omitting it from my diet will brings any benefits)

So, what will I eat? Primarily, the following:

• Fruit
• Vegetables
• Whole grains
• Beans/legumes
• Nuts
• Eggs
• Water (lots of it, I hope)
• Plant-based milks (almond milk, coconut milk, etc.)
• Soy (but only occasionally)

My goal is to follow this plan for thirty days--from there, I will change my course based on how I am feeling. Will it be challenging? Certainly. But so far it has felt like a natural shift--in fact, I am not terribly tempted by coffee, even after some very late nights in the past week. Cheese has been harder to resist, but I've done so successfully thus far--and I even passed up banana cream pie and ice cream on my very first day (two things that in the past would have been my Kryptonite).

You might ask, if I'm trying to simplify things, why am I starting a blog to track my journey? Well, writing is something I've not found time for in recent years, and something that I feel I need to do to recenter and get back to my true essence--not just a mom, or a working mom, but a whole and complete woman who happens to be both of those things.

But, as with my cleanse, I am pursuing my blogging effort without expectation of how often I will write, or at what length, or even about what I will share. I am open to possibilities and optimistic that I will find my way as I venture forward.